Holocaust Remembrance Day, a day late


On my way to the fabric store yesterday I caught the end of an interview with a woman named Eva Kor.  She was a Holocaust survivor and I was instantly drawn to her story.  When I arrived at the store I sat in my car, quiet and still until she finished her tale. 

She and her twin sister Miriam (what a great name!) were spared the gas chambers where their family perished because a Nazi doctor wanted to do experiments on them.  For years after her time at Auschwitz Eva was angry.  Then in 1993 she had the opportunity to meet a man she referred to as a "reluctant Nazi" doctor who was also at Auschwitz.  After he helped her with something she knew was difficult for him she decided to thank him with a simple letter of forgiveness.  He had lived with guilt and horror all his life and she knew what it would mean for him.  Writing that letter and going through the process of forgiveness was so liberating for Eva that she decided to forgive the doctor who had performed atrocious experiments on her and her sister. 

I was inspired by this woman.  I thought of all the wrongs anyone has ever done to me.  All my hurt feelings over petty offenses.  She says that happiness and freedom are found in forgiveness and I believe her.  I feel changed.

Stories this uplifting make appearances in my life here and there.  Sadly, I can't recall many and I fear that the story of Eva will eventually be forgotten.  I worry that my own desire to change will not even endure as long as Eva's memory.  But I am comforted by these words, introduced to me by a family member at Christmas. 

"I no more remember the books I have read than the meals I have eaten, but they have made me."
Ralph Waldo Emerson

This quote is a great consolation to me because I have felt affected by many books I have read, but looking back can not remember them.  But I believe that those moments when our hearts our touched by books, people or music we are change permanently, even if our conscious memory of them grows dim. 

gum in hair

How the gum gets from the mouth to the hair is beyond me.

At least he is a boy and a short hair cut suits him.

my first SOLO sewing project

I left my wallet in Richard's truck.  Richard drove his truck to the airport.  At the gas station I realized I had no wallet.  I drove home with a prayer in my heart that I would not run out of gas.  I have been stranded at home for a couple days.  No gas. No wallet.  Luckily my mom came to the rescue today with a $20 bill.  That currency meant freedom.  I think we might have all gone crazy by Saturday had we remained prisoners in our own home. 

Before the heroine brought the cash, I was looking for distractions.  Richard bought me a sewing machine for Christmas.  (Feminists- do not rise up, I wanted a sewing machine.)  Up until yesterday I had been too intimidated by it, and too busy with other projects, to assemble it and try it out.  I must be honest.  The only assembling required was threading the bobbin, and the machine.  But that meant reading an instruction manual.  And I hate instruction manuals.


But necessity is the mother of invention. And sewing projects.  The socks in our house were becoming hostages to Eli.  He was filling them all with toys and carrying them around as his "sock bags."  I decided to sew an alternative bag that would allow the socks to fulfill their purpose protecting little feet. 

I have sewn before, but never alone.  It went quite well, if I may say so.

a lucky brother


This morning the boys were fighting over two cars.  A McDonalds race car and a police car. So I lined up all the cars for the choosing game. Cameron went first and chose the police car. Eli went next and, naturally, chose the McDonalds car. Cameron of course burst into tears about how he "never ever had that car". We finished the game, all the while Cameron whimpering and whining. When we were done, they each had their chosen cars. After giving Cameron strict orders not to "trade" with Eli for the McDonalds car Eli promptly handed said car over to Cameron. Cameron looked at me, wondering if he was in trouble and I told him what a lucky boy he was to have such a nice brother. At this point they both had huge grins on their faces and I said to Eli  "Doesn't it feel good to share?" They both started laughing and I got up to leave the room. As I walked out I heard Cameron say "I love you Eli." And Eli responded "I love you too." Then more giggles.

It drives me crazy the way Cameron gets what he wants after whining so much, but Eli's sweetness just melts my heart into mushy goo and I can't help but let it go.

this girl has no self-discipline

I spent the second half of last week in Idaho Falls visiting family and friends and friends who feel like family. A road trip usually means fast food. One night after dinner at Arby's (no offense Arby's, it tasted great) I was lying in bed feeling sick. I thought of this line from Austin Powers.


"I eat because I'm depressed, I'm depressed because I eat. It's a vicious cycle."


Mine is more like this.


"I eat crap. I feel like crap. I vow to eat better. I feel better. So I eat crap again."


I'm sorry for all the times I've used crap in this post. I'm sure my dad is thinking that I should utilize my vocabulary to better express myself. Sorry Dad.

Healthy eaters unite. I mean it this time.

(Well, that is, as soon as I finish this cheesecake.)

a nugget of wisdom

I never cease to be a little embarrassed when an old adage finally clicks in my brain and I realize that these sayings we have heard all our lives are repeated for a reason.

Biggest cliche: "Live in the moment." Turns out to be a profound truth after all.

Last week someone challenged me to "live in the moment", particularly the moments when I was feeling the least amorous to my children. You know, like that moment of Candyland where I want to throw the game across the room if I have to remind someone one more time that it is their turn.

So I did it. When my patience started to wane I took a deep breath and tried to appreciate the moment.

It works.

I just started reading a book that I have high hopes will teach me to be more present and still. I'm anticipating further insights that I look forward to sharing.

brave or naive?

Over Christmas we decided to try and have pictures taken of the six grandchildren, ages 4 and under. I'm not sure if it was brave or naive of us. I'm posting the pictures for the benefit of my brother Evan who is on a mission on the other side of the world. He hasn't even met any of his nieces yet. For his sake I won't mention anything about a countdown...

snip snip

One of my goals for 2009 was to donate my hair to Locks of Love. Those prenatal vitamins can really do a head of hair a favor so it seemed like the perfect time. Due to the business of a new baby and the holidays I didn't get it done during 2009. But what better way to kick off 2010 than a new hair-do?


It's kind of wierd to see my hair lying around. I need to ship it away soon.



Brooke cut 11 inches at first and then cut another inch or two after that. It was a lot of hair. I can see how it is a sacrifice for some to lose that much hair at once. For me the sacrifice was having that much hair on my head. I'm relieved to have it gone.