March 2012

 This expression is such a Miriam classic.  It says "I don't believe you..." 

 The products and styles Miriam has experimented with on Simon's hair have been endless. This was paint. 

Sugar and spice. And everything nice must include skirts and boots and leggings.  

Easter egg hunt extravaganza! Simon was apparently napping... 

Simon is such a snuggle bug. The most snuggly of all my kids. Maybe it is a personality thing or maybe a youngest child thing.  But he can distract me from anything when his little voice says

 "Hoad you mommy. Hoad you." 

Little Fry turns ONE

We finally realized with our fourth child that their first birthday celebration is more for the parents than the child, so we only gave him one present, plus one from each set of grandparents.  I finally got around to making him a blanket, just in the nick of time because I think he was starting to become partial to a different blanket...

I don't know what this face was all about but it was a treasure to be captured!

Despite repeated warnings from my six-year-old not to put a candle on the cupcake I did anyway.  (I guess some things you never learn, no matter how many children you have.)  Sure enough he grabbed it and I'm not sure if it was the actual flame that sent him into tears or just my reaction of utter horror with much gasping and abrupt movements.   Either way, I had a humbling "told-you-so" from said six-year-old. 

He did not like the birthday hat, it put him in a somber mood...

but it was nothing a little chocolate frosting couldn't fix.  Thanks to Baca for taking the initiative to make frosting out of almond milk so Simon could have some.  As a side note, the next day we tried to make pudding out of almond milk so Simon could have some, and it didn't quite set up.  That didn't stop us from eating it, and I think Simon loved it as much as the frosting. 

Si-Ster [my clever nickname from SImon STERling] is an ambitious little fellow, which frightens me greatly given his closest sibling is Miriam.  He took his first few steps a couple days before his birthday and decided he was ready to walk, unfortunately his forehead has paid the price and you can tell from the pictures he as many a bump and bruise as the result. 

He still wakes up between 4:00-5:00am just for a bottle but we are a bit lacking in our consistancy as to how we handle it so it's no wonder he is persistent.  He has a hypersensitive gag reflex and after he guzzles a bottle we hold our breath for a few minutes because occasionally one wrong cough and its soy/almond milk everywhere. 

He loves the swing in the backyard, Eli makes him laugh on a regular basis, he loves to pull Miriam's hair, and any other hair he can get his hands on, and he claps for himself after accomplishing a new feat.  Like Miriam was, he is content to follow his siblings around the house and he is the master of the army crawl.  Once in awhile he will crawl up on his knees, but at this point it is less effective so he abandons that method quickly. 

Can't believe you're a toddler Si.  

that Richard...

[Political views of the children may or may not accurately reflect the political opinions of the parents.]

Cameron has recently decided he is going to be president of the United States.   He really likes President Obama and if you know Cameron at all you won't be surpised that he has political ambitions for power.  Last night at the dinner table he told us all the things he would tell the country if he were president.  This was very entertaining, but a little tension arose when the conversation took this turn:

Cameron: If I were president I would tell everyone not to hunt animals, only fish, because we shouldn't kill animals. 

Then the parents (whose opinions shall remain anonymous) shared differing perspectives on the subject.  Finally it came down to this:

Jo: That's fine if that is how you feel Cameron.  That is the great thing about our country, you can always choose your own opinion and share it. 
Richard:  Yep- in our country you can always choose which of two opinions you want for any issue. 

It doesn't seem so funny as I typed it, but it was.  There was no cynicism, just humor.

Later last night Richard and I finished watching an episode of The Wonder Years on Netflix and we were discussing how it would be nearly impossible to love Wayne if he was your brother.  Richard said:

"Yeah, Wayne has to be one of the most annoying characters in all of t.v. history.  Second only to Pee-Wee Herman."

Spot on Richard. 

humility

I made a careless mistake recently that had far-reaching effects.  People were hurt, relationships badly damaged and the fall-out involved a great deal of misunderstandings followed by attempted reconciliation and more hurt feelings.  When I did it, I didn't realize what the consequences of my actions would be, in fact for a brief moment I thought I was actually being helpful.  Soooo ironic. 

I'd recently been praying for humility, and I'm here to testify that God answers our prayers, and if we really desire weak things to become strong, he will give us opportunities for change.   I offered apologies where I could, but ultimately the damage I caused had to be repaired by the people least at fault.  This was humbling indeed.

Today at church the subject of the talks in Sacrament meeting was humility and I was consumed with knowledge and truth about myself and my weaknesses.  One of the speakers defined humility as "a broken heart and contrite spirit" and if ever I have felt that way in my life it has been in the last few days. 


I am so grateful for good friends and church leaders, for their forgiveness and for God's hand in my life.  A friend once told me that when you seek truth, and you find it you will wonder why you never sought it before, because you ...

well here are his words-

"The wisdom you seek is the heart of what the Gospel isreally all about, though if you're like me, you never could reallysee it for what it was before now. And because you are a seeker, youwill find deep spiritual truths and sources of joy that you will beconvinced must have been hidden before or else you would have turnedto them immediately...and yet the more you live them the more youwill realize they are ALL around you...in literally every scripture,every song, every sermon, every moment of life."

St. Patty's Day Run

This race has become a yearly tradition, and we can always count on the Halladay kids to be there.  Tren won for the second year, making him Cameron's new hero.  He keeps talking about what he needs to eat to be like Tren, and how often he needs to practice running to be like Tren.  Cameron ran by himself this year for the first time, and did well, and Eli trucked it along with Richard at a steady Eli-pace. 

We usually go to Perkins downtown after the race but Perkins is no more.  So we met up with Baca & Grandpa Hall for breakfast at IHOP. Richard was more than pleased to be eating at IHOP within the quarter, rather than waiting a full year until our annual IHOP brunch/Christmas tree excursion. 

Mark didn't make it to the race this year so we stopped and visited him on our way home.  Richard told Mark stories of races in years past because those stories never get old to someone who can't remember them.  (No insensitivity intended.)  And no father, no matter the circumstances, doesn't like to hear that his son was the star. 

happy birthday Beckett

March 14th marked one year since the birth of a sweet baby Beckett.  He didn't make it to his first birthday, and the last eight months since he left his family have made a mark on my heart.  Simon will celebrate his first birthday next week, and my heart is full of gratitude for him.

I wanted Beckett and his mom (who doesn't read my blog because we've never actually met, so I informed her otherwise- hence the pictures) to know we still think of him, and we live our lives differently around here because of him.  So I got a blue balloon for each of the kids and we took them to the cemetary where Beckett's body rests and sent them heavenward.  We watched them for a long time until we could no longer see them. Cameron was the only one who had any idea what was going on, but it was a tender moment for me. 

There are so many things I don't understand.  And it almost seems like expressing my gratitude that I still have all my children living here on earth with me is insensitive to those who don't, as if I'm saying "So sorry for you, but lucky for me!"

I just AM grateful and I pray frequently that I won't forget to be grateful.  And I pray that I can be aware of ways to show my gratitude through service toward those who do suffer, and through service to the little beings I feel so blessed to have in my home.  

Mim did?

Miriam seems to be getting lots of blog time. That will change soon, as all three boys have birthdays and events coming in the next two weeks. In the meantime... She keeps life entertaining.

She has a new nickname. It's "Mim" and it comes from the way she says her own name. She most often says it when I confront her about her latest disaster and she says "Mim did?"

(These pictures are from my iPhone, not the best quality.)

She is obsessed with this backpack of late.  I finally signed her up for a toddler music class at the library, something to channel her energy, so she keeps her library books in it.  She also keeps her small box of "ho-sees" in it.  The horses pictured below, who stole their helmets from Cameron's football guys.  Shoot Sean, what are they called?

and 600 posts later, a blog reborn

It seemed fitting to use my 600th blog post as a forum for sharing my thoughts of late. 

600 posts!

I'm going to confess here, and for some of you who could see right through me all this time it will be no surprise.  But I wanted blog fame.  My first year of blogging was simple and fun.  I enjoyed it, I felt no pressure, and I had only a handful of blog-friends to compare myself to.  Then I started to see bloggers emerge, gain "followers" and enjoy blog fame.  So I became obsessed, I blogged often, I set up Google analytics to track my blog statistics, followers, page-views, etc.  I tried to be clever and captivating.  I tried to have original ideas and share inspiring thoughts.  I checked my blog daily, hourly to see if there were any new comments.  But I was never satisfied. 

During this time I felt compelled to blog about everything.  Nothing in my life was enjoyable or satisfying until I blogged about it.  A fun afternoon outdoors with my kids or a delicious dinner was not complete until I shared it with the blogsphere.  Things started to become backwards.  If you are or were a scrapbooker you might relate, creating events just for the sake of the scrapbook page.  I was creating experiences for the sake of the blog post, to make myself look amazing.  I wanted people to wish they were me.  (AHHH, it's so painful to say that.)

Lately I've seen this quote all over Pinterest and it cuts me to the quick. 

“We women have a lot to learn about simplifying our lives. We have to decide what is important and then move along at a pace that is comfortable for us. We have to develop the maturity to stop trying to prove something. We have to learn to be content with what we are.”
― Marjorie Pay Hinckley

Since I'm 30 now I guess it's time to develop some maturity.  So I disengaged from Facebook for starters.  After doing that, I started to recognize that I often think in "status updates."  This was really annoying to realize.  I've started to question why I feel so compelled to share share share.  [Let me say that those who don't share the same insecurities as I do are able to participate on Facebook without comparing/judging/feeling inadequate/being narcissistic. There are entertaining and useful reasons to be on FB. It has been my source of anecdotal research, many laughs and general info about old friends/relatives.]

But all of the sudden I was done.  I am weary of trying to prove via Facebook and my blog that I am a fun-loving mother who cooks delicious meals makes darling crafts has intelligent thoughts and executes impressive home-improvement projects.  While I strive to be all those things, I'm done wasting my effort to share it with the world with the hope that the validation I receive in doing so will somehow make me happy. 

I tried to come up with a clever saying for the following idea, but this is the best I can do.

"I'd rather matter a lot to a few people than matter a little bit to a lot of people."

So I'm back to blogging.  Blogging for the reasons I started blogging and for my family members who appreciate it.   Should you notice that I am slipping back into my old ways of trying to make myself look good, please just laugh and remember that Rome wasn't built in a day.  (Is that how that saying goes?) 

Here's to another, more genuine, 600 posts.