unconditional love

One of my personal struggles is understanding how justice and mercy will accomodate for all the right choices I make that others do not. (What a snob I am!) For example, I believe in forgiveness and I want those around me to gain salvation. But I get discouraged when I think about how I try so hard to do the right thing and it appears that others don't care about trying so hard. The other day while listening to the soundtrack from Les Miserables I had an insight.


If you don't know the story it might not make as much sense, but in the finale Valjean is dying and he says his good-byes to Cosette. Then the voices of Fantine and Eponine, who have previously died in the play, begin to sing. They say these words,


"Come with me, where chains will never bind you. All your grief at last behind you. Lord in Heaven, look down on him in mercy. Take my hand, and lead me to salvation. Take my love, for love is everlasting. And remember the truth that once was spoken. To love another person is to see the face of God."

I just had the strongest feeling of unconditional love from the two women, who had made their share of bad choices, as they sang to Valjean. What I felt was the idea that in the next life I will have an understanding of the hearts of the people in my life who I judged, and in perfect clarity I will feel of the grief they experienced on the earth. That feeling of love, charity I suppose, would cause me to not care in the least what they chose as it compared to my choices.

Yesterday while listening to an episode of "This American Life" entitled "Unconditional Love" my understanding of the concept was additionally expanded. I don't really want to go into the details of the stories, but you can find the podcast on iTunes or here. But I listened to it while I was jogging and nearly had to stop because I was practically sobbing. It just became so clear to me.

Love is not meant to get love. Or in better words, "charity seeketh not her own". Parents don't love their children because of the satisfaction of their children's love in return. (Although that is a joy that after listening to this podcast I realize many parents take for granted.) They just love them. Unconditionally.

Imagine if I could apply that principle to all the people in my life. Totally selfless love without any conditions or expectations of love or reward in return. (Yes, it seems so obvious to me now.)

These are all the feelings the Savior has for us. The feelings I can spend my lifetime trying to obtain. But I believe as a gift to us, we will be able to feel that love for our fellow-men in glimpes in this life and in full in the next. It gives me such hope.

it's that ANNOYING time of the year

My camera is broken, greatly hindering my blogging motivation.

But I have felt strongly about something lately, and I've waited to blog about it to make sure I didn't go wild in the passion of the moment. Richard and I are typically very private people when it comes to politics. But we always say things to each other like "Why don't GOOD people run?" "Why is it always the choice of the lesser of two evils?"

A couple weeks ago I had the chance with my mom to attend a casual backyard "meet-and-greet" with Keith Allred. His wife was there as well and I was genuinely impressed. He is not a politician (yet) and I just felt comfortable with him. I'm a cynic too, and not easily persuaded that someone is sincere or genuine. But I was.

He is a democrat and if you take issue with that party label I encourage you to go to his website and read about why he aligned with that party and more about his personal morals. I am truly grateful for someone who is willing to ignore party politics and run for the good of the state. And perhaps I am naive, but I really believe in this guy. And it feels good to believe in something. It feels so good in fact, that I am willing to take a stand on my blog and really put myself out there.

I also respect the opinions of others and certainly do not blame you if you have your reasons for respectfully disagreeing with me. I post this message mostly for those who have yet to become informed or make their own political stand.

Benefit Sale

Treasure Valley friends and readers, we are having a "Rummage Sale" fundraiser for our friends the Halladays tomorrow in Kuna. I hesitate to refer to our product as rummage, because I am aware that there will be quality goods for sale. I know this because some of said goods have taken temporary residence in my garage.

Anyway, the sale will be at 168 E. Northridge Ct.

Look for signs at the intersection of Hubbard and Linder roads.

Saturday October 23 7am-4pm

Rain or shine!

Mark's Story: Our friend Mark had a stroke on October 1st. After spending the first few weeks in the ICU at St. Al's Mark is now in a care facility where he will have rehab and therapy. Mark's long-term prognosis is still uncertain but we pray for miracles and have faith that the Lord will take care of him according to His will. Meanwhile we are directing our efforts and showing our love and support by raising funds to help his wife and children with their financial needs.

on the radio

Have I mentioned that I love NPR? Or that I love the BBC? I think I have. Whether or not I actually am, I always feel smarter after listening to/watching their programs.


I love music too, but when driving in the car I can't stand to listen to the radio. I usually opt for programs like Dr. Laura or Dave Ramsey. During election season I can't stomach talk radio. A long time ago I was on a big NPR kick. I subscribed to multiple NPR podcasts and listened to them on my iPod any spare minute. Then for some reason my NPR passion faded and I haven't listened to it for awhile.


This morning while driving home from an appointment there were no other options so I turned on NPR and was immediately reminded why I love it. In the 20 minutes I listened I heard actually useful tips about cooking and I learned about a new BBC tv series (playing on PBS) that actually sounds like it is worth watching.

NPR you've won my heart again. How do you do it? How do you manage to appeal to such a broad and varied audience?

it was nice while it lasted

Remember this? My post about Richard's traveling days being mostly finished?

It was too good to be true.

Sigh.

It turns out he does a good job. It turns out that when you do a good job, clients want you on their job. It turns out a big business acquisition in Spokane necessitates Richard's presence there for the next few weeks.

I told Richard, "This is all very flattering, the way they are fighting for you."

But it turns out that flattery is a poor compensation for missing a husband and father.

It also turns out that I've been aware of a family missing their dad in a much more painful way so I'm officially done complaining.

In fact, I'm here to express gratitude for modern techonology.

It turns out that you can talk face to face via webcams and Skype. I know we are probably the last ones to use this method of communication, but we did it for the first time last night and had a great time. The kids loved it, therefore Mom and Dad loved it.

And lastly, it turns out that the silver lining of this situation is that I'll be booking a flight (with Richard's frequent flyer miles) to Florida soon.

on a more positive note

I worked with a lady once who told me that all she and her husband had to do to get pregnant was wash their underwear together. Fertility is certainly a blessing, but sometimes it seems to defy the odds. I never actually asked “How did this happen?” because it seems so obvious, but let me just say it isn’t always obvious. It’s just the will of the Lord.

Pregnancy tests claim 99% accuracy. For the first few days after I took the test when I referenced the subject Richard would respond “One percent.” In other words, he was in denial.

At our wedding reception we danced to a song titled “Come What May” and I had those words engraved on the inside of Richard’s wedding band. Elder Joseph B. Wirthlin added “And love it” to our mantra in a conference talk a few years ago. Now that the initial shock of an unexpected pregnancy is over and the idea of FOUR children is settling in, we have reached the “love it” part. We feel very blessed and we are very excited.

Baby #4 is due April 8th.

**For my friends who read this that are currently living under the gloomy cloud in Kuna I apologize if my timing seems insensitive. Truth be told, making a big announcement is always hard for me (saying something on a blog sometimes doesn't really feel like you're saying it) but this secret is getting too hard to keep.

the only thing I could think of

A ward member and friend suffered a stroke on Friday. Although his prognosis is uncertain I am learning from the examples of friends how to have faith and hope.

Last March when Cameron ran his first race neither Richard or I were dressed to run with him. Mark stepped in and saved the day, running the mile race at Cameron's side. Since then Mark doesn't pass Cameron in the hallway at church without a high-five for his "Running Buddy." Mark was also a great source of encouragement to me when we were both training to run Robie Creek.

I've registered Cameron for a YMCA kid's race on Saturday afternoon to run as a tribute to Mark. We would love to have the company of any kids who want to join us. It is one mile, for kids under 13 and the race is done in waves according to age.

On October 16th is the Barber to Boise race. I plan to run that race also as a tribute to Mark and his contagious love for the sport. Once again, I'd love to have running companions.

God be with you Mark and I hope to see that giant smile again.