I committed myself to these activities with the hopes that I would impress people, or gain their respect. A great part of my insecurities stem from my perception of other's opinion of me.
A marvelous thing has occurred over the course of my extracurricular journey. I found a new self-confidence arising, which was exactly what I had hoped for. But a couple weeks ago I realized something very critical. I realized that my self-assurance didn't come from the respect and admiration I had been seeking. To be honest I have no idea if my peers view me any differently knowing the new ways I spend my time.
My confidence came from knowing that I was capable of hard things. It came from knowing that I had set goals and accomplished them. And the beauty of it was that I didn't have to consciously tell myself those things, I just knew them, and it changed the way I felt about myself in wonderful way.
I'm still a long way from not needing outside approval. But progress...
Yesterday I ran my second 10k. I cut ten minutes from my original time and I was on top of the world. I am not a psychologist. But I believe that you can read book after book about self-respect but nothing will really change inside you the way that going out and doing something hard, and then doing it again will change you.
So whether it is putting together a delicious meal, taking a yoga class or volunteering somewhere the sacrifice it takes to get you there will be worth the emotional reward. In the words of Dr. Laura:
"Get off your butt and go sign up for kick boxing."
7 comments:
I am very impressed Jo. That is so awesome. I think while being a mom it's important to establish your own sense of identity a part from your kids. I admire you and hope to follow in your footsteps....
Awesome Jo, you have always been so amazing, and I dont know how many times I need to tell you, but you can write. If you wrote the HYG journals, I might actually read them.
haha, Dr. Laura's hilarious! Way to go Jo! I'm always finding out about all these things you're doing on here. Maybe after I have my baby I'll train with you for a race, although I"m sure you'd KILL me, but it sounds like fun!
Wow, Jo, Congratulations.
I envy you-- in a good way!
Someday I hope to be just like you!-- running and actually gaining my own reward from that.
Wow thats awsome! Congrats on the 10k
So, I obviously need to get on here more and find out what you've been up to since you won't brag about yourself in Primary to us! Congrats on your race! I know so much about how you feel when you accomplish something that isn't very easy! I admire you for running and maybe someday I'll figure out that I really can run too! It is just so different than swimming! (I need to put a pool in my backyard I think!)
I think you are pretty amazing!
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